No I am not talking about the surprisingly brutal short story where a dude gets stoned to death, we're not that kind of gang. I'm also not talking about the brutally hilarious always sunny episode where the gang goes to a lawyer to determine the rightful owner of a winning lotto ticket and where this beautiful clip is born.
I am speaking to if I won the lottery. And as the founder and leader of the g ang WE would win the lottery considering I'm such a great team player. But the recent giant Powerball had me considering what to do with the billion dollars that I definitely was going to win. I'll preface this by saying there would be significant amounts going to charitable donations, but those aren't quite sexy reading materials so I won't be going into explicit detail about that. I also will add if I won the lottery I'd tell very few people so I could be a billionaire right now and you just don't know it. But besides that let's crack into it.
Many people would splurge on a mansion or a super nice new house or car. I hate to say it but I'm probably gonna be pretty boring. I'd be keeping my whip, a real hot rod (2011 Chrysler 200). I'd pay of the house mortgage of my current house, and then take my inner circle of friends and family onto a vacation. While we were all on vacation, I'd have all the renovations done to the house at once while we weren't there. That's some ninjanuity if I've ever seen that. In the meantime on my electric vacay I'd sort out gifts and needs. Definitely just have a good time and hopefully work out a sound financial plan.
I'd like to set up college funds for family and friends. Education is great, student loans suck, it would be great to avoid those. I'd set up a scholarship fund at my high school based on nontraditional parameters. I don't really know what it would be, maybe whoever writes the funniest essay wins or an arm wresting competition akin to the classic Sylvester Stallone film Over the Top. Let the record show the whole point of this line was to reference that movie, and I may attempt to find a way to reference it in every entry now because of how ridiculous it is.
Besides that there's not much I would splurge on. For someone writing about how sick it would be to win the lottery I really don't care about money that much. I think the best part would just be the little things. As an aspiring sneakerhead I'd buy the shoes of my dreams. I think a lot of what I would do would just be dream based. I'd invest in this site a lot, along with the Bok Gang Brand as a whole. I'd design some ridiculously sweet merch. Hopefully I could amplify this site so it could become an actual stage and not just a virtual journal of my incoherent thoughts. I'd be happy to be able to do things like buy tickets to games or get the check when out with friends and not have to worry about over charging my card. I'd want to travel to new places and old. It has long been a dream I've had to share the places that mean the most to me with the most about. That would be awesome. I'd make a large donation to my grade school and force them to put a plaque up honoring the OG gang and my coaches who have served as role models for me. I'd invest in ways to make the places around me more sustainable and try to reduce my carbon footprint in the face of my new capital gain. I'd set up a personal "shark tank" so that other people like me with lots of dreams and limited opportunities could have a chance to make those dreams come true. I wouldn't join a country club but if I ever had a caddie I'd leave a massive tip. I'd buy my dad a jukebox finally.
There are lot's more things I'd get that I both can and can't think of at the moment. Most of all I'd just want to do what makes people happy. I'd just want to do the right thing. So when I win the figurative lottery when this blows up and I'm rich and famous, if I'm ever an asshole remind me of this. Maybe it'll knock some sense into me as I watch my solid gold yacht sink into the water because I didn't realize it wouldn't float.
Anyway that's the blog. Sorry I missed a couple days. That's unacceptable. I fucked up.
Thanks for the read. We'll be back tomorrow. In the meantime stay gold, Ponyboy.
$incerly,
The Founder
コメント