An Ode to the GOAT: Diet Soda Mascot Edition

It has been said that "remember when" is the lowest form conversation. It also has been said that I got friends in low places, so I deem that point moot. Sure, a good nostalgia trip may lack the depth of debating the intricacies of the universe. That doesn't make naming your favorite tv shows from childhood with your adult aged friends any less enjoyable. And as you make friends from different places and upbringings, you can often find common ground in those terrible movies and shows you watched growing up. Your friends are gonna be pumped to relive the days where certified hood classics like Wild Kratts, The Backyardigans, and The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry were constantly playing in our living rooms. I mean who can't recall the excitement when Bill Nye was their science teacher for the day, or how delicious loving fountain of life wisdom Jonathan Sperry's homemade lemonade looked.

But between these shows and movies, we were taken from these on-screen amigos. And as a child being conditioned to be glued to a screen and to buy as much as possible, these commercials are just as glued into our brains. So many icons. They're not necessarily good or funny like a super bowl commercial, but they have so much real estate in your hippocampus for no good reason. I will forget lots of things, but I'll always know what to do if someone saws my boat in half in the middle of the night. But throughout all these commercials, one has really stuck with me. An icon that deserves to be more than just a flash in the pan. And that icon is Lil Sweet.

For those of you initially unfamiliar because you're uncultured idiots, this video can serve as a refresher. For those of you who are simply parched, Lil Sweet would tell you that the delicious taste of an ice-cold diet Dr. Pepper can serve as a refresher. But let's break down exactly what makes Lil Sweet so great.

To start, it's a great product. Ball knowers know that Dr. Pepper is superior to any name brand cola on the market. Real ball knowers know that the diet variety is actually superior to the main soda. You have a delicious drink on your hands, and for my money the best caffeinated soda on the market. It's fighting an unfair game. It's never going to be Coke or Pepsi. They're mega giants with polar bears and super bowl halftime shows. It's not in the oversaturated root beer market (which I also have strong feelings about), and it definitely isn't in the same domain as sprite or other fruit sodas. So, the Doc is in an awkward middle ground. Looking to differentiate their product and stand out. Who do you turn to?

Enter Lil Sweet. You see before you the frontman of a terrible Prince cover band with a pop tab necklace and immaculate head of flowing maroon hair. Standing in at roughly three feet tall, his aura enters the room before he does. In a past life one can only assume that Lil Sweet received significant ninja training. You never know where he is, he could be in the same room as you right now. A frightening thought until you come to the realization that he is a hero in the promotion of self-worth and affirmation. Always ready to reward, Lil Sweet reminds you that you deserve it. Now in most cases "it" is the sweEEeEeeEttt taste of diet Dr. Pepper, I like to think "it" is whatever you need it to be. Sometimes it can be hard to see these things, and that's when you need a miniature glam rocker from the 80s singing every fifth word to emerge from a stack of pillows.

His wild entrances. His high voice. His style and flair. It leaves those he comes across both within the commercials and viewing the commercials confused and a little uneasy. This is exactly the feel you want when selling your product. Get the drink that the odd little man who comes out of nowhere hands you and tells you that you deserve it. Initial branding efforts envisioned Lil Sweet as a tiny butler who responded to the ringing of a bell when a person had earned a DDP. But a butler is subservient, he lacks Lil Sweet's "I don't give a shit I'm a magical fairy person" whimsy. They then pitched a superhero, but Lil Sweet is more than a savior yes man. He's got flair, he's got personality, he most certainly has done copious amounts of cocaine. When they finally landed on the idea of a rock star, Keurig-Dr. Pepper VP of Marketing Derek Dabrowski had this to say, "Spending millions of dollars on a weird small man isn't the easiest sell in the world." Little did he know, thanks to that weird small man, Diet Dr. Pepper became the easiest sell in the world. If Lil Sweet says I deserve it, that's all I need to hear.

Lil Sweet was a flash in the pan, but the memories we (I) have of him will last forever. In his run from 2015-2022 he reminded us to treat ourselves. He changed lives, scared children, and rode a magical flying tiny horse. He deserves his shine, and I'm glad I could be the one to give it to him. Lil Sweet, YOU are the sweet one.